you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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