id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
