Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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