you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
