Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
