So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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