Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
