Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
