we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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