Already got asked if we're dating
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
