Buhtt sex?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
