to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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