i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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