do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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