problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
