M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
