our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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