She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
