why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
