Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
