So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just threw up on my dentist
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
