i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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