Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
