He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
how does that bad decision feel?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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