i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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