Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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