Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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