I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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