Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
