Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
