if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
