I am in a vortex of obligation.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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