im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
