nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
