Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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