Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
