I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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