They should really pass out barf bags in church
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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