Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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