I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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