i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
