Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
