So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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