Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
accomplished twins. life is a go
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
