Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
