We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
