You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
