Pants 0. Shit 1.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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