We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
