What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
