Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
